For many years I have felt I was pulled in two different directions.
On one hand, I wanted to be bolder in my actions so that I can grow the business and achieve greater results. Sometimes I felt I need to do things outside my comfort zone in order to push the business to the next level. But it felt daunting because they are usually things that I don’t like to do.
On the other hand, I have also experienced the urge to downscale the business and do it on my own pace. Life would be easier if I just run this as a one-man operation. One of the reasons for leaving my career was to create a business to do what I want to do.
I am an ambitious monk. This is probably the worst position to be in. Either be an unambitious monk or an ambitious warrior. The path is easier for the former but I may live with regrets. The path is harder for the latter and hence I have the tendency to retrograde to my monk-like thinking. To understand the monk-warrior scale, refer to this article I wrote.
Structure drives behaviour. I should set up mini-action items to move towards where I want to be – ambitious warrior. Having the awareness helps and the next step is to meet and surround myself with more ambitious warriors than to brood unhealthily in my mental abode.